STUMPTOWN STORIES ARCHIVE

episode 1

It had been a cold, dry winter. Roqroq squinted at the passing clouds heavy with a rain that refused to fall as a pair of Hawthorne types cruised by smelling of Patchouli. What this town needs is a good shower, he thought. Then a customer approached. "Give me a lunch special, will ya Roqroq?" He was an architect named for a saint. "Make it a double." She was a lawyer and everything but a saint. "I knew you'd follow me." He accused her with more than his words. "That's right. I followed you. Sue me. Nobody walks out on me like that and gets away with it, you louse. Now pay the man and let's get out of here." As they walked away Roqroq silently began the process of which nearly all Stumptown by this point had taken advantage. Roqroq was the "fix it" man. He wiped the tense residue of love gone bad from his spotlessly clean stainless steel counter. He caught his reflection and was surprised by the emotionless features. Had it been so long? Only four years had passed, but they had aged him. What was he doing here? Why had he come to Stumptown in the first place? And how had an entire city come to depend on him? It was 1997 when Roqroq arrived in Stumptown. It was not a glamorous entrance.

"Hey buddy wake up. You're in Stumptown." Roqroq slowly regained consciousness. He felt the steady familiar rhythm on his back of train tracks thumping and he knew he was on the floor of a freight car. He couldn't quite remember how he got there. "Where?" he asked. "Stumptown. The station is just ahead. You better scoot or the cops'll getcha." Then the old wino was gone. Roqroq didn't see him jump, but he assumed that he had. There was an open door in the middle of the car and the train wasn't moving too fast. He looked out and could just make out the words GO BY TRAIN on the station tower. He jumped; tumbling down a grassy slope that led to the mighty Willamette...

episode 2

Heels over head, Roqroq did his best to avoid sharp objects. Alternating blackness from his face pushed hard into the damp wet grass, stars streaking across the night sky and the city lights of Stumptown crashing back into the damp wet grass as Roqroq tumbled out of control toward the rapidly flowing Willamette.

"Hey, Mister! Snap out of it!" Roqroq, lost in memory, transfixed by the reflective surface of the counter, was jarred to his senses. A girl of about 13 stood in front of the gleaming stainless steel lunch cart. Roqroq smiled. "What do you have against fish?" she asked. "Nothing at all" he replied sleepily. "Whatever." she said as she ran to catch up with her friends who were waiting across the street at the mall. Roqroq watched her go. "She'll be back." he whispered. "Roqroq!" Peter the architect called to him from down the block. "Roqroq! Over here!" Roqroq approached an out of breath Peter who by that time had run nearly all the way back to the lunch cart. "What is it?" "You've gotta hold on to these for me. I'll be back for them." Roqroq took the same brown bag in which just a few minutes earlier he had served Peter a healing cup of steaming soup. Inside were the crumbs of the magical NO FISH! Sandwiches, the things which had confused the adolescent girl. But there was something else. A baby blue box tied with a darker blue ribbon. Roqroq was about to ask Peter what was in the box, but Peter had already gone. Roqroq took the box from the bag. On the box was printed the discreet and familiar script of Tiffany & Co. Roqroq liked Tiffany.

A shard of broken glass worked its way into Roqroq's heel as he thumped to a stop on the riverbank walkway at the base of the grassy hill. The train's whistle blew in the distance announcing its arrival at the station. He imagined well dressed travelers boarding the train for Seattle, tourists cabbing it to posh hotels downtown and teary reunions with loved ones meeting the ticketed train passengers. That train on which somehow he had found himself stowed away and from which he had jumped, injuring himself in the process. "This town's already under my skin" he thought as he tried to work the glass from his heel. Roqroq thought he heard the sound of footsteps but it was too dark to see. The roar of the river made him unsure from which direction the stranger approached if indeed a stranger was approaching. He listened but heard nothing. "Is someone there?" Maybe he just thought he heard footsteps. "Got a light?" Z asked. Roqroq strained to see the face of the stranger...

episode 3

Roqroq strained to see Peter who was at that moment passing through the revolving doors and into the lobby of the Benson Hotel. Those revolving doors had turned more tricks than a carload of monkeys, he thought. How many times in that hotel had he picked up the pieces of some dame's broken heart? How many Joe's had he set straight about a thing or two in that bar at the Benson? But none of that was important now. He turned his attention back to the box. The sky blue box. So smooth and cool in his hands. Small, yet heavy. He knew it must be silver inside. Peter was an architect and couldn't afford a rock that heavy. Unless it was stolen...

"Roqroq, have you got a light or doncha?" Z asked impatiently. " Yeah, sure." replied Roqroq. "Suppose you give me that light then." "Suppose I do." "Then suppose you tell me what you're doing out here on the river looking like a filthy rat with no shoes." "Suppose you tell me how you happen to know my name." "And suppose you tell me where you've been for the last five years." "Suppose I do." "Well that tears it. You couldn't tell me if you wanted to." Z stepped over Roqroq and headed toward Chinatown.

"You look all in, buddy. Whatsa matter? Fish ain't bitin'?" Roqroq deftly slipped the Tiffany box into the folds of his long sleeve the moment he heard the voice of his good friend Sue. He started back to his cart where a young couple was waiting to order. "Say, wait up!" Sue caught up with Roqoq. "What gives? Where's the fire?" "I got a customer," Roqroq said. "What's in the box, Roqroq? Did ya buy me something?" Roqroq filled the young couple's order and took their money. "Say mister. You look like you know what's going on," the young man said. "Cheap rooms are closer to Burnside," said Roqroq. "Head towards Broadway if you want to impress the lady." "Well thanks, but I was hoping you could tell us where we might find a good tattoo parlor. My girl wants me to put her name on my arm." "That way he'll always know who he belongs to, isn't that right pumpkin?" "That's right Bonnilu." "Head over to second. Ask for Pansy. He'll fix you up," Roqroq offered. "Gee thanks, mister." "You're a real swell guy, ain't ya Roqroq?" "Sure I am, baby." "So why don't get out of the way and let me fix myself a drink?" "I saw you coming and I locked up the liquor." "That's all right, I've got my own key." Sue stepped in behind the cart and pushed Roqroq aside. She bent down to find the bottle of gin she knew would be there. Roqroq felt her round ripe bottom nuzzle against his belt buckle as she searched for what she needed. "Ah-ha! I got it! It's a big one too!" she squealed.

episode 4

"Did ya see which way he went, Roqroq? If ya did, ya gotta tell me." "Sure Kate, sure. I saw him. He headed into the Benson, but - " "Thanks. I owe ya." Kate ran toward the revolving doors of the Benson. The same doors Peter the architect had just passed through. "She seemed to be a little more on edge than normal," Sue noticed. "I guess it's tough being a tramp." "She loves him, Sue. I can tell. Don't come down so hard on her." "I'll bet his wife loves him too." "No, she doesn't," Roqroq answered with a look of sadness. "Like you know. What do you have? Special powers?" "I don't know. But I know Peter's wife doesn't love him. And Peter knows it too." "Yeah yeah, you're a regular ESP guy or something. So what's in the Tiffany box?" "I don't know," answered Roqroq who had forgotten about the brown bag with the light blue Tiffany box inside that Peter had given him to hold before running toward the Benson. "You know who loves who, but your ESP can't cut through cardboard? Figures. So open it up." Sue was desperate to know the contents. Roqroq shrugged it off as a female thing. Women love Tiffany boxes. "What difference does it make?" asked Roqroq. "Just open it, ya creep!" she demanded. Kate entered the palatial lobby of the Benson. The hotel had been built in the late 1920's as a permanent monument to another era. An era of decadent opulence. An era America sorely missed. Now at the dawn of the 21st century, America was once again a land of fabulous wealth and prosperity. In times like these, the interior of such a hotel as the Benson could seem understated. Kate slipped past the concierge into a dark corner of the bar. She spotted Peter with a woman. She was a beautiful woman. Tall. Very tall. Kate thought she was proportioned rather oddly, but still she was mesmerizing. Peter held the woman's hand in a long, intimate shake. They turned and walked toward the elevators. The woman moved like an ethereal titleholder from some other-worldly pageant. She earned the admiring attention of those she passed. "Hurry up! What are you waiting for? Open it!" cried Sue. "All right," Roqroq agreed. He placed the blue Tiffany box on the counter of his lunch cart and opened the lid. The sun reflected off a shiny silver blade lying on white satin. It was a shaving razor. Sterling silver. "Wow!" was all Sue could manage. "I wonder what he's gonna shave with that." "Not his face, I'll bet." Roqroq picked up the blade and scrutinized it to find the tell tale Tiffany mark found on all Tiffany products. "You know, Roqroq, you wouldn't look half bad if you gave your own face a shave." Roqroq instinctively reached toward his thin goatee hiding the well-healed scar on his chin. He winced. He remembered the scar and he remembered who gave it to him. Deleroy Mfume. They had been lovers many years ago. Deleroy Mfume had been angry over Roqroq's infidelity. Deleroy Mfume was leaving him. "YOU BASTARD!" Deleroy Mfume threw a golf shoe which hit Roqroq square in the face. The cleat imbedded deep in Roqroq's chin. The shoe stuck to his face. Roqroq couldn't see Deleroy Mfume walk through the door for the last time. "Hey look. There goes Kate. What's she crying about?" wondered Sue. Roqroq was jarred back to his senses by the sound of Sue's screeching voice. He saw Kate as she rounded the corner of the Benson and headed toward her office. Peter the architect and Deleroy Mfume rode the elevator in silence.

episode 5

Deleroy Mfume and Peter exited the elevator and walked in silence to suite 1313. Deleroy Mfume closed and locked the door. "Check out my ass." "I've seen it before Deleroy. In college. It wasn't so hot then, either." "Ouch. That's gonna leave a mark, baby. Now check out my ass like I said or I'm gonna kick your own ugly flat ass. I had the plans tattooed on it." "You're kidding. I guess I'm lucky you didn't have it done in Braille." "Shut up and look at them. Is there a discrepancy?" "Well, let me see... " said Peter as he began to study the plans with a professionals eye. "No, it looks just like I designed it. Except I didn't design it for you to wear on your ass. Wait, there should be a small anteroom just inside the presidential suite. Here it is... but it is designated on your ass as a dumbwaiter shaft. Unless that's a something else staring at me." "So whaddya think was wrong with Kate?" asked Sue. "It's hard to say. Maybe she just realized she didn't tip me when she was here for lunch," answered Roqroq. "Don't be a wise acre. Kate looked really upset. I'm gonna go see if she's all right," defended Sue. "She'll be fine Sue. She probably wants to be alone right now." "You're a man. What do you know about women?" As Sue took off in pursuit of Kate, Roqroq began tidying his counter. He took the bag Peter had given him and was about to replace the Tiffany box when he felt that the bag was far too heavy to be empty. He opened the bag and looked inside. At the bottom of the bag was a small package wrapped in brown paper. It was about eight inches in length and six inches in circumference. It weighed just over a pound. Just then, Roqroq heard the familiar cry of police and ambulance sirens heading toward him. "Room service," said the waiter as he unlocked the door to suite 1313. The waiter barely noticed that Peter's hands were on the ass of Deleroy Mfume and that he was intently studying it. "I didn't order lunch," said Deleroy Mfume. "The order was paid for by 'The General' and it was requested that I bring it up immediately." "Oh my god! Get out of here Peter. They've found us!" screamed Deleroy Mfume. Peter seemed stunned at the sudden change in Deleroy Mfume. The waiter left the suite. "Excuse me, could you please help me?" A fresh faced young girl of about 13 stood at the door. "I'm sorry, honey. You caught us at a bad time. You'll have to run along now," said Deleroy Mfume. "I'm looking for Deleroy Mfume." "That's me." Suddenly, the little girl closed the door and pulled a gun from her baggy pants. She pointed it at Deleroy Mfume. "Give it to me" said the little girl.

"Hey Roqroq, did ya hear? Somebody shot Pansy. They arrested a girl," shouted a street kid skateboarding past. Roqroq left the cart and headed over to second. To the tattoo parlor where his friend Pansy had just been shot.

episode 6

Bonnilu was crying as the Stumptown police cuffed her wrists. "Don't you worry Bonnilu. We'll get a lawyer. A real good murder lawyer!" Joe's words offered little comfort to Bonnilu. She was lost in a confusing world of sirens and blue uniforms. She did not know what was happening to her. She only knew that she was being separated from Joe. Roqroq arrived at Pansy's Tattoo Parlor and found it crawling with gumshoes and beat cops. Yellow tape was stretched across the door. "Hey Captain," Roqroq called. "Mind if I step across?" "Sure Roqroq. Just don't touch anything. " "What happened?" asked Roqroq. "Open and shut case. Young girl out there shot Pansy. Pretty thing too. It's too bad." "How's Pansy doing?" "See for yourself." Roqroq turned to look inside the parlor. Pansy was lying face down on the floor. A pool of dark blood was coagulating around his head.

"Give it to me!" demanded the little girl. "I don't have it, honey. I got rid of It." insisted Deleroy Mfume. "Then you'll have to get it back." "What's going on? Who is this little girl?" asked Peter. "Shut up!" The little girl pointed the gun at Peter. He heard a pop and saw a flash. Peter was shot. "PETER!" screamed Deleroy Mfume. "Get in the elevator. NOW!" the little girl had an eerie calm about her. "All right, honey. But point that thing the other way. I just got this outfit and I do NOT care to have you shooting holes in it." Peter thought he heard voices in the other room. He was lying on the carpet and thinking that Kate would be very happy with her Tiffany gift. If only he could get up, he would go find her and give it to her. He hoped she wouldn't be too angry that he had left her so suddenly this afternoon. But he was so tired now. He closed his eyes and drifted. Papers that Deleroy Mfume had put on the table by an open window blew onto the floor near Peter's body. They landed in a pool of Peter's blood.

Sue returned to Roqroq's lunch cart. She had not been able to find Kate. She waited several minutes for Roqroq and was just about to leave when she noticed the Tiffany box sitting unguarded on the counter of the lunch cart. "Men!" she silently chastised Roqroq for being so careless with an expensive gift box from Tiffany. She was about to return it to the brown paper bag and take it home with her when she noticed the heavy object in the bag. "What's this?" she wondered. She took it from the bag. "Well, I suppose it won't hurt anything if I just take a quick peek." She peeled back the paper on one end. The sun glanced off the object and momentarily blinded her. "Geez!" She pulled back the rest of the paper to reveal a most extraordinary object. A fish. A 300-carat flawless white Putanese diamond fish. "What do you know?" murmured Sue.

episode 7

Sue couldn't take her eyes off the enormous diamond in the bottom of the bag. "What in the world?" she whispered. Looking around and seeing no one, Sue put down the Tiffany box she had found unattended on the counter of Roqroq's lunch cart. She closed the bag, rolled it up and shoved it in her pocket. As she stepped away from behind the cart and out in to the street she glanced around nervously to see if anyone was noticing her. She headed east on Yamhill toward the loading zone in front of the mall where she was illegally parked.

Roqroq looked at Pansy lying face down in a pool of his own blood. "Why would that girl have shot Pansy?" Roqroq wondered. She didn't seem the murdering sort. Roqroq looked at Pansy's still and lifeless corpse. "Why is he lying like that?" Roqroq looked around the room. It was the waiting room. The room customers first enter for their tattoo appointments. There were several mismatched second hand office waiting room chairs, all of which in perfect condition and scattered along the wall. There was a table with a few old copies of AMERICAN TATTOOED FAMILY and other periodicals of that ilk. Pansy was in a face down position on the floor with his head just a few feet from the entrance door. One foot was hooked around the bottom of the counter separating the waiting room from the studio. The left foot was crossed under the right leg as though he was cut down while running. There was one fatal gunshot wound to the back of the neck. Roqroq stepped over Pansy and headed back toward the studio.

Sue got into her red 1978 Toyota Corolla without even seeing the ticket pinned to the windshield by her wiper blade. She depressed the clutch and put the key in the ignition. The tired 4 cylinder sputtered to life. She didn't know where she was going, but she was so excited she wasn't even thinking about getting anywhere specific. Just away. She popped the clutch and leaped forward nearly running down a teen-age girl with a blue Tiffany box in her hand. "Sorry!" Sue yelled as she swerved around her.

episode 8

The little boy dragged hard on his cigarette. He inhaled deeply, feeling the smoke in his lungs. He closed his eyes and dreamed. The little boys' twin brother was already lost in trance and did not feel his brother's cigarette fall onto his leg, burning the flesh. Graak, guardian of the twin Putanese boys who were the spiritual leaders of distant and exotic Putan, laid them flat on straw mats on the dirt floor of their jungle hut. Outside, hundreds of Putanese pilgrims waited for word from Graak. Only he could interpret the dreams. The dreams were the only thing left and the dreams would guide them at this time when they most needed guidance. Dark times had fallen upon the country of Putan and only the Twins could restore the peoples' hope.

Z stood in the shadows watching Roqroq enter the parlor studio. The studio where countless young Stumpers had chosen to freeze and capture forever on their skin a passing fancy, exercising a freedom and form of artistic expression that had become so fashionable in recent years. As Roqroq looked around at the instruments in the studio he thought the young Stumpers were foolish. Roqroq was perhaps a little conservative. And he was afraid of needles. "Hello Roqroq." said Z. Startled, Roqroq turned in the direction of Z's voice.

"Remember me?" "I want a divorce." Kate spoke into the telephone receiver. She could barely fight back her sobs. "I want a divorce, god damn it! It's over!" Her apparently soon to be ex-husband responded, "That's a honey of a way to answer the phone." "Forget it, Stu. I'm serious. I want out." she pleaded. "What are you so sore at?" "I'm sore at the whole world. Don't try your fast talking salesman routine on me. It won't work. I want out and I'm getting out. I'm not beefing you. I don't want to see your mug no more." "Geez," he said. "I may be crazy baby, but I'm not crazy enough to let you go. Now come home and stop fooling around."

Sue drove past the Stumptown city limit sign at 85mph. The brown bag with the lump of compressed coal sat in the passenger seat next to her. She was headed toward the mountain. A dormant volcano which formed a picturesque Stumptown backdrop in postcards tourists bought. Sue had a cabin there.

The maid used her key to enter the room at the Hotel Benson where Peter was lying on the floor bleeding. When she saw him she thought he was sleeping. She decided to leave the extra towels on the table and move on the next room.

episode 9

Graak looked out at the crowd of hungry Putanese. The faces stared back. What were they expecting to hear from him? How could satisfy them? He was as desperate as they were. Maybe even more desperate. He could rule Putan. If he could only say the right words.

"Z. What are you doing here?" asked Roqroq. "I was about to ask you the same thing." Z replied. Roqroq's eyes were beginning to adjust to the dim light of the tattoo parlor. But he still couldn't see Z. "I heard Pansy got shot," he said. "I came to see if there was anything I could do." "Well, is there?" "Is there what?" "Is there anything you can do here?" Roqroq thought that Z was being unnecessarily coy. "Pansy's dead, Z. They got the girl who shot him. It looks like an open and shut case." There was no response. Roqroq scanned the room for Z. There was no one there. He was alone.

"You can't walk out on me," said Stu. Kate cradled her cellular phone. She stood in the doorway of a small boutique. A light mist had begun to fall. "You're my devoted wife and I'm your lovin' man. Now get your ass home." "I'm not coming home. I want out and I'm getting out. The marriage is finished. Kaput. I hate the whole thing," cried Kate. "You love it." "I don't." "You're just a dopey broad. You don't fool me with that song and dance. Not for a second. I know what's really going on here."

"The twins have dreamed," shouted Graak. The unwashed crowd of Putanese began to hush as word spread. A prophesy would be revealed. This was why they had left their homes and come to this place. This hot jungle. Far from civilization. Far from any human connection to the outside world. This hot and steamy place where their collective and great hope for the future of the Putanese people lives hidden from the world. And smokes. And plays marbles. And dreams prophesies. Prophesies which when unfolded will ultimately prove Putan to be among the great nations of the world. The greatest perhaps. And the people of Putan will be heroes and recognized for their superior culture and cuisine. "There will be a rain!" shouted Graak. The people were silent.

Roqroq was quiet as he walked back to his lunch cart. He had left the cart entirely unattended when he heard about Pansy. He hoped nobody had messed with his stuff. He wasn't overly worried about it though. The people of Stumptown were, he thought, an honest lot over all. Good people. Kind. Not the kind of people who steal your stuff the minute your back is turned. He rounded the corner to his spot. The cart looked fine. Unmolested. He walked behind the plastic sheet which hung down from the canopy to block the wind and help keep him warm during the long cold and rainy season. "I might as well pack it in for today," mumbled Roqroq as he started breaking down his operation. He was lost in thought. Remembering Pansy. A good guy ol' Pansy. A good friend. Dead. And what for? What could have made that girl shoot him like that? And wasn't that the same couple he had given directions to earlier. He was the one who told them how to find Pansy. How was he to know the girl was going to kill him? "Hey mister, snap out of it. Give me one of those fish things. Hey! What's the matter with you?" The 13 year old girl had come back. She was flush with excitement. Roqroq remembered her from earlier that morning when she stopped by and asked about the NO FISH! Sandwiches. She had then run into the mall with her friends. And now she was back. They usually do come back, he thought to himself. They stop by and ask what the heck a NO FISH! Sandwich is. And when they find out they almost always buy one on the spot. But if they don't buy one right then and there they come back for one later. So Roqroq wasn't too surprised to see her at the counter. He gave her a NO FISH! Sandwich filled with chocolate and caramel. Since he was just about to go home, he didn't even charge her. And after she walked away without thanking him he noticed that she wasn't carrying any shopping bags. Just a small box from Tiffany & Co.